I don't know if I've ever written a post here on the blog with no photo, so there's always a first time right? Some bloggers show photos of their messy closets and garages to dispell any notion that they are perfect. While I prefer not to air my dirty laundry for the whole world to see, I thought I'd share with you some tongue in cheek advice based on some of the challenges I've been facing today, and this week in general.
First of all, if your poor husband is in the hospital with a bothersome leg infection, don't give him a lecture about his poor health practices, it won't make him happy and he will rightfully hang up on you. Big mistake.
And if your husband happens to be in a the type of hospital you wouldn't normally go to, and you're afraid to visit him for fear of catching something there in the ward where he's stationed, so just know that people will wonder why you haven't visited him! He hopefully will understand, but probably not completely. Nonetheless, if you yourself have worked in hospitals and know about diseases that one picks up in the hospital, and what a hospital should look like, so you can probably trust your own judgement and not worry about what other people think. And when your husband tells you about the bottles of alcohol at every sink, so that's probably all the confirmation that you need! Mothers should never ever take any chances with their health that could compromise their ability to care for their family.
And if your left shoulder that's been bothering you for months starts to become a shoulder/neck problem, so you should probably try to rest and get off the computer! Sitting sideways in the chair isn't a solution. But you will want to check out that bothersome web company that is trying to get you to link to their sites filled with nothing, since it may surprise you greatly to see "welcome creativejewishmom.com" over a long list of products to help people clean up after their dogs….and we apparently have a similar audience, so we should link to each other? Oh boy….
And when you decide to walk to an appointment in the dark with some little ones, down a very very steep hill, so don't point out to them how lovely the distant lights of Tiberias look, because you may trip on a big bump in the road and fall flat on your face. It hurts, a lot. Do sit for a moment to make sure you're okay, and then get up so that the two lovely Ethiopian women who were so nicely concerned will see that you can walk! And when you arrive at your child's appointment totally covered in dust from the fall, so just pretend that it's normal. And when your arm starts to ache and you can't raise it more than 90 degrees, so just remember that a similar thing happened to you 6 years ago when one of your children accidently tripped you on the Berkeley,CA pier and since you didn't want to pay for a doctor you just tried to ignore the fact that you couldn't raise your arm, and it got better. And be thankful that suddenly your neck feels a lot better, and even your shoulder isn't so painful….
Now, on top of all this, if you promised your daughter you'd make 15 rolls for her class party the next day, so even with the bum arm, you should try to do it…since running up to the city in the morning to buy 15 rolls isn't exactly great either..and your daughter will be so dissappointed. But when you look in the cabinet and realize there's no white flour to be had (only your whole wheat) so do try to borrow some from the neighbors at 10pm at night. And while you're at it, so get your neighbor to cut the chicken for Shabbos, since you can't. Oh and don't forget to send your regrets that you won't be able to prepare all of your Moroccan salads for your friend who just gave birth, one of your favorite mitzvahs, because you can't hold a knife!
After you borrow two bags of flour from two separate neighbors, and you turn on the oven, don't be surprised when the oven will not open. And this isn't an oven with a lock or anything. And if the door won't budge, so with your your injured right arm and your sore left arm you should try to push and pull, with every ounce of energy that you have at this somewhat late hour. You might think of calling another neighbor, but instead pull out a screw driver and try to pry the door open. Slowly, slowly the door might budge just a bit until you manage to open it. And do you know what you might find? Why a glue stick that has melted between the door and the oven, isn't that interesting? Just laugh and comtemplate how on earth a glue stick found it's way to the inside of your oven!
And last of all, when you're composing your post and you start to smell your chicken burning on the stove, just remember that your husband actually likes it that way, and thankfully he'll be coming home to enjoy it!
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